I haven't met you, but I love you.
I haven't seen your daddy smile at me for the first time (that i know of.)
I haven't felt the butterflies (the ones i know you'll bring me) when we learn about you for the first time.
I haven't felt you kick inside my belly (if that's how we are to meet.)
Of course, we may meet in a different way.
You may come to me from another mommy,
Who will be strong, and generous, and loving enough to bring you home to me. (And I'll teach you to love her just as much as I will).
We may not even live in the same place when you come from your mommy's belly (but I will love you from afar).
In fact, i may not even get to be your mommy.
This will make me a little sad sometimes (but I will love you so much anyway).
I may be your cousin,
or your cool "aunt" Jessica,
or "that nice sorta crazy lady from church who always takes you to the movies and brings you books to read..."
(but whomever I am to you, you will know that you are loved).
My little girl, you exist in me today.
Even without seeing your daddy's smile;
or feeling your tiny foot;
or knowing exactly how it is we are to meet.
But I have loved you for as long as I have wanted you.
And that, my dear, has been 10 times the length of the longest day you'll ever know.
To my little girl...
I know God is waiting for the perfect time to send you to me (I am a very patient lady).
So enjoy your time with Him up there. You'll see me soon enough.
I love you.
** I wrote this post, because i know that there are a great many amazing women who can't or won't have children, who are sometimes just as burdened by as overwhelming a desire to be a mother as I am.
As I move into my 30's I'm trying to focus more on the opportunities God may be giving me to be a mother, even if it isn't to happen in exactly the way I've always dreamed.
Sometimes the answer to our prayer isn't the answer that we want, but it's still an answer, nonetheless.
