"May I speak with Ms. Hunt, please?"

My office is not often a very Jessica-friendly place to work, and someday, I plan to blog about everything, if for no other reason than for posterity. Today is not that day though. Instead, I write to describe a small scene from yesterday, which played out in a somewhat funny, somewhat disturbing manner.

NB: My usual description filled full of frivolous detail will be spared for this entry as I don't want to provide any qualitative information that might identify any of the parties involved.

I was in charge of a mediation yesterday between two parties, one civilian, one military. I have been communicating with both of them by phone and e-mail for the past month and a half to coordinate and schedule the mediation. I have introduced myself as Jessica Hunt each time and signed my e-mails with the same name.

The parties enter our office yesterday; I introduce myself as Jessica and point them to the room where the mediator is already preparing for the day's festivities. I have a somewhat lengthy conversation with the military individual.

Fast forward to around 1 at the conclusion of the mediation: I have drafted settlement terms for the parties to look over and sign and a co-worker takes them back to the parties because I am called away to do something else.

The co-worker comes back and says, "(Insert name of military individual) would like to see you."

I walk back toward the parties; the individual in question sees me and asks, "If possible, could I speak with Ms. Hunt?"

"I am Ms. Hunt," I say, watching an awkward, confused, embarassed wrinkle creep its way onto his brow.

He says, "I didn't realize...."

After showing the parties out, I walk back to my desk, somewhat taken aback. I explain to my co-worker what had just happened.

He exclaims, "What?? That makes no sense." I gave him a quizzical look. He continued, "He asked me to see Ms. Hunt, and that's why I sent you back."

Then I begin to wonder. If this individual didn't think I was Ms. Hunt, the case manager for this mediation, despite being given every indication that I was, who did he think I was? And why didn't he think I was Ms. Hunt?

At first, I assumed that maybe it was because I look young for my age. I was dressed very professionally, wearing a nice shirt, slacks makeup and earrings. Maybe he thought I was an intern??

Then I thought that maybe the crutches were throwing him off. I don't usually like to have that sort of chip-on-my-shoulder, me-against-the-world internal dialogue. But after three years of being in this environment, the majority of people with disabilities in my building do not have jobs that would allow them to interact with the Army population on a day-to-day basis. Maybe he didn't expect to see me in that role?

This thought process brought me back to a conversation that I had while at a Youth Leadership Development Conference in Atlanta last week. The most difficult thing to change about the way society treats people with disabilities are the attitudes society has toward disability and the inability many people have to see the person first.

If you have a developmental disability (one acquired before you reach the age of majority) then it becomes difficult for you not to internalize what you hear other say about you or how you see them reacting toward you because you grow up hearing negative things from various people about your disability from a very young age(who those people are really depends on your individual life experiences) . Even if you were born with the thickest skin in the world (figuratively speaking) it would be very difficult for you to go through life without ever internalizing one negative thought or action executed by another person, because of or in regard to your disability.

That's why it's important to teach young people with disabilities a sense of pride (confidence) and a strong sense of self-- a self that includes and embraces their differences. Young people should learn to be proud of their disability, in that they can grow up to become people who see their disabilities for what they are and accept them, but who are also cognisant of all of the positive opportunities, characcter traits, and unique abilities their disabilities have allowed them to contribute to society.

Which is a great segue into next time's topic: "What's with me and all this disability pride stuff?"