Beauty-- Part 2

You may recall  that a couple of years ago,  I wrote a post on beauty.   I've been thinking about the concept more frequently these days as it relates to romantic relationships.  I met a new friend online a few months ago-- a person who has come to mean a great deal to me in a short time--though I won't elaborate any more than that.   I really don't have a clue where the relationship is headed, and in case things go south, there is no need to mar this post with gushy, saccharine remnants that will be hard for me to bear sometime later.

No sense chasing the ghost of a good thing before it's gone.

That being said, this person has really challenged me to think about how I define my own beauty.  Of course, I've always tried to subscribe to the cliche that it's "what's inside that matters."  

And, of course, that cliche is the honest truth.... God sees our souls and He has created them to be our real sources of value.  The bodies around them are just the casing.  The shell on the pistachio.  The skin on the sausage.  The oyster holding the pearl.

But who is going to pick up a rotten pistachio or a half-eaten hot dog (save a truly desperate situation) and think to themselves, "Mmmm... there must be something good for me in here?"

Chances are, the numbers are few.  

The same goes for people.  No matter the appeal of a person's wit; their intelligence; their imagination, the individual looking to be in a relationship with them must also find them attractive from a physical perspective.  Our society has been conditioned to view the worth of others as somehow tied to their outward appearance.  

Everyone can see that conditioning now by looking in magazines or mainstream media, and it is often played by interest groups to be a recent development.  However, these kind of outward judgments based on physical appearance have existed since the beginning--with the "clean and the unclean" distinctions created by MAN in the Bible; with slavery; with the "Ugly Laws" which actually banned people with physical disabilities from city streets.

Society has always been judging others based on their outward appearances.  Why?  Because we are humans.  It is not the individuals we judge who are flawed, but the judgments that we make of them.  

What difference does the color of an oyster make when the pearl inside is just as precious?

Even in church, I have been taught all my life that men, by their nature, are primarily superficial... as though it is something that I am just supposed to take as fact and accept.  But aren't those of us who believe in God to be held to a higher standard than that of the world when searching for a mate?  

God gives HIS standards for how to appraise beauty, specifically in a woman., in Proverbs 31.  All of those standards have everything to do with her virtue, and nothing to do with her height, weight, hair color, or choice of clothing.  

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."  --Proverbs 31:10

Basically what the writer is trying to get across here, and in this whole chapter, is that the way a woman acts toward others, toward her husband, toward her family, and toward the tasks of her daily life is the way that God determines her worth. 

Shouldn't we be using His standards for our own? 

Not the symmetry in her face, or the style of her hair, or the height of her stilettos.... but the symmetry of her actions with His Word, the style of her interactions with the world around her, and the height of her integrity and her character.

I'm not saying that we should ignore how a person looks altogether.  We can't do that.  We are humans, after all... but the funny thing is.... I've found the more you get to know about the beauty that a person carries with her, the more you see that beauty every time she looks at you.  Think about it.  The more you get to know about a person after you meet them, the more or less attractive they become-- regardless of how beautiful you perceived them to be "in the beginning (of the relationship)," so to speak.

Maybe if more of us focused on inner attributes rather than outward appearances, we'd partner with people who truly complimented us in the ways we need for the relationship to last.

Maybe if we taught young girls to focus more on acts of service to others and development of life-worthy skills rather than learning how to dress on trend or wear their hair like the celebrities, they'd believe more in themselves and their own abilities.

Maybe if young single women in the church weren't taught that the superficiality of man is a forgone conclusion, but rather that the right kind of man will care more about their soul, they wouldn't enter into abusive relationships; or settle because they just felt like they were getting too old or didn't deserve any better; or compromise their values because they convince themselves that there's no other way to find a husband.

I'm not saying that outward beauty doesn't matter at all.  In fact, I've been feeling pretty gorgeous on the outside lately... but that's because I know that the source of my beauty doesn't come from Macy's, or the MAC store, or Ann Taylor Loft, but it is a product of the decisions I have made and the positive attributes given to me by God shining through.