It was hard to sleep in the early hours this morning when I learned that a church friend of mine had gone missing in Bowling Green, KY shortly before the storms hit yesterday. I had been consumed most of the weekend with thoughts that seem so trivial now, and I was soon lost in much deeper ones.
Adam was by no means my best friend. My interactions with him were few compared to many others I know and love... but in the nearly 3 years since I met him, he made an impression on me that lasted. He was hilarious, outgoing, and had a heart for God and others. Adam left his home on Sunday afternoon with the intention of going for either a swim or a run... which,it was not clear. It appears that somehow he may have been pulled under by the current in the Barren River, but it has not been confirmed. As of now, all we really know is that no one has seen Adam since around 1 pm yesterday. He has no phone, no keys, no ID, and no shoes.
And so for now, all we can do is wait. And pray. And pray. And wait.
In times like these, I have no idea how people function without God, because when all in this world seems hopeless, I consider myself blessed to have a source of constant hope in Him. I know that wherever Adam is, God is with Him, and that whatever he is going though, God will provide for his needs. I know that his friends and family sick with worry can find hope and comfort in God. And I know that no matter the outcome of this troubling situation, God will be with us always if we call on Him for help.
Some people say that reliance on God makes me stupid.... I say to them, "Fine... but at least in my so-called ignorance, I have hope. What do you have?"
Questions like this usually lead those doubting to fall silent, because even non-believers can recognize the healing power and positive influence that comes from prayer to and reliance on a higher power.
God is our ultimate source of love here on Earth, and the example by which we should model the way we interact with others. He shows us love every day, when he lets us breathe and live and interact and love ourselves, even though we are deserving of nothing, and constantly transgress each other and Him with our actions. Not only that, He showed us the ultimate act of love by sending his Son to die for us-- all of us-- despite the way we act on the daily.
Those of us who believe in God are instructed to love like him, and yet we rarely do... in this we, I include myself. God puts us first even when we don't put Him first. Likewise, we should put others before ourselves even when they don't show us the same regard. The world tells us that we should always act with our own interest first, but God tells us to put others ahead of ourselves, and always to His glory.
Do we do that? Do I? Often the people in our life who act as though they deserve our love the least are the ones who need it the most. I'm not saying that this means we should never be angry when someone wrongs us, because there is actually an element of love in righteous anger if you bring the issue to the person and address it in love.
Sometimes, loving someone who has made you angry is the best thing you can do for that person, because lack of genuine godly love in an individual's life can lead them to act in ways so very undeserving of any love at all. When love may be just exactly what that person needs.
Thinking about the situation with Adam has made me acutely aware of the times when I have acted out of anger rather than love.... why? Because it's made me ponder the fact that you never really know when will be the last time you see someone you love, the last time you touch them, the last time you have a chance to tell them how you feel.
It made me think of my Grandma Hunt when she was in the hospital before she passed away. The last time I told her "I love you...." I'm not even sure she comprehended what I was saying, and before that, I know it had been far too long since I had told her.
It made me think of Grandma Flowers, and not being able to be home for her funeral, and how I worried whether she knew how much I truly loved her.
It made me think of other less dire situations, like standing in front of my apartment door with my now ex-boyfriend in April 2009, never knowing that that would be the last time I would see him, or hold him, or tell him how I felt before he would leave, leave me, and find someone else better suited to his needs.
My point is, you never know which "I love you" will be the last "I love you," God, free will, and even chance, to a certain extent, control that variable. So say I love you everyday; try always to act and react in love; and remember where your hope and your treasure lie, because someday, there you will be also.
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