Big love....

As a single woman in her thirties, I'm finding that my generation and those younger than us have been taught to expect big love. 

From movies. 

From the media. 

From our peers. 

Any little girl who loves fairy tales has at least once longed for the Cinderella gesture.  That Prince Charming who would travel the length of his entire kingdom just to return her shoe and offer her his heart. 

That man who would chase her through an airport. 

Who would plan an elaborate surprise and invite all of her friends and family. 

Who would build her a closet for her shoes in a million dollar Manhattan apartment. 

We all want big love. 

If you're going to do it, do it big, right?

I've had big love in my life. 

The man who got down on both knees in the middle of my kitchen to propose to me. 

The man who chased me through Union Station at midnight, because I wasn't returning his calls, and he just had to tell me that he didn't want to lose me. 

The man who drove 6 hours one Saturday just to spend 3 with me--doing absolutely nothing-- all because he knew I needed him there. 

Big love. 

All of those big, sweeping gestures that I'm to believe signify forever love (or at least the long-lasting type)... and...

Well, I'm not married. I've long since left Union Station and stopped returning the calls.  I do still talk to that 6 hour marathon driver.... But it's...complicated. 

The big love never really worked for me. 

To me, big love is in the little things. 

Asking how my day went everyday and genuinely caring to know. 

Making my coffee without my instruction, because you pay attention to how I like it. 

Walking my dog for me on a rainy day. 

Knowing that when I say I've had a bad day that it means I need take out Chinese, Nesquik, Hot Tamales, and an Audrey Hepburn, Carey Grant, or sometimes even Hugh Grant marathon. 

The proof in love--what makes it rise to a level that can weather any storm two people create--is found not in the big romantic gesture, but in how they show their love on a random Tursday when nothing's gone right and they've barely spoken a word. 

To me, big love is when you hold the door open, help me with my coat, and share your umbrella even when you're angry. 

Big love is caring enough to remember my friends' names, the book I'm reading, or what I'm working on in the office. 

Big love is making an effort to be my best friend, ask my opinion, lend me yours, and communicate with me not out of habit... But because when you think about me, it often makes you smile. 

My Prince Charming doesn't have to chase me through a kingdom to prove his love; he simply has to show me that he's worth mine by treating me with kindness, respect, genuine interest, and thoughtful, tender care.