Silver Linings Playbook

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I was talking with someone I love yesterday about what it takes to stay positive in not-so-positive times. For me it's a one word answer: God. That's not to say that there haven't been peaks and valleys in my faith. Right now, I'm actually in kind of a valley. It doesn't have to do with any one thing, situation, or person. 

Every last bit of it has to do with me. But I know that there is a purpose for all seasons in our lives. Solomon says so in Ecclesiastes. There is a time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. (Ecc 3:4). 

I think everyone, even those without strong faith in a Creator, would agree that life is a dynamic, emotional adventure. No two moments in time are the same. It can change in an instant-- for good or bad. It's how we choose to deal with each moment in time that makes us who we are. 

How do I deal with the bad times? I pray. I cry out to God-- literally. I write. I sing praises to Him in my head. I tend to keep to myself and only confide in a few close friends and family members. 

But the point is. When I feel bitterness, negativity, shame, hate, or even the worst of feelings--indifference-- creeping into my heart, I do whatever I can to expell it , to sift it out, to separate myself from it. 

Separating from negative influences and thoughts in your life is often a process. Many people, including me, get so frustrated when they make a decision to rid their life of negative influences and thoughts, and the change doesn't happen immediately. 

A good friend of mine had been going through a valley of uncertainty in his life over the past few months. He's worked so hard to pull himself out, and I've never seen him happier. I bet if I were to ask him now what was the point of his struggle, he'd say that at least in part, it was so that he could better appreciate the happiness and stability that he is experiencing now. 

You know how people say that you have to weather the storm to appreciate the sunshine? Well, that's a cliche, but it's the truth. 

Good comes out of every situation, no matter how bad. That doesn't mean that every bad situation or thing that happens to us is the "will of God."  It always annoys me a little when I'm going through a bad time and when I go to someone for advice or in confidence, and the person says, "it's just what God wants." Or "it was/wasn't meant to be."

Not everything that happens in our lives is at the complete direction of God. Sure, He starts the ball rolling for each of us every day of our lives, but the choices we make, the choices other people make, and even complete chance sometimes affect where it goes. 

God doesn't will people to have cancer. That's chance. 

He doesn't will a drunk driver to get behind the wheel after a a case of Coors Light and hit another person. That's a choice. It's free will. 

Yes, God gives us free will and so His Hand is always there. But the choices we make are ours. He gave us the freedom to choose. Sometimes the choices we make can lead us to the peak of a mountain, at other times, the depth of a valley. 

And when we are in the valley, we may think there is no way out.. We may not be able to see the mountain peak ahead of us, piercing through the clouds and fog.. We may be like the Israealites  wandering through the wilderness for 40 years, thinking "Ok, God.... What is the point of this?? Are You even listening to me?? "

He is. He's there. But we'll only be able to feel His Hand on us if we believe that it's there. That's a choice we make too. We can choose to see Him walking next to us in the valley, or we push Him away and try to find the way out on our own. 

And alone... We may make it out... but without God, we'll always be worse for the wear.

"When all around my soul gives way, You alone are my Hope and Stay."